sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
