Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
