i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
