margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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