32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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