We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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