I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
