...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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