What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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