I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
