i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
