if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
