My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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