Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
