we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize