i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
