its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize