I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
