therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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