He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
