He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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