u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
