i think i have herpe
just one?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
