She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
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