Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
