she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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