I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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