I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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