Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
