so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
