White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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