just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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