I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
