I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
