Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
