Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
