She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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