But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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