it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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