Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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