Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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