I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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