so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
