Define "chronic" masturbator.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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