Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
