at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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