matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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