i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
