dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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