Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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