You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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