I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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