He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just had sex bonerless
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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