We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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