they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
