Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Alive.
So much puke
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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