used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
