can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You may now shotgun with the bride
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
