we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
