If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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