And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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